Troubling signs often ignored: How to save your relationship

At first, it seems like small things. You still seem to be together, talking, living, and drinking morning coffee. But something… feels off.

Warmth fades gradually, followed by openness. You seem like two people who once loved each other, but now are just playing familiar roles. Communication becomes brief and technical. Words like "how are you?" are said, but without real interest, says the expert.

How to understand that something is wrong in your relationship

You no longer share little things

If before you talked about even what you ate for lunch, but now sit in silence in the evenings – it’s a red flag. The emotional bond weakens when everyday topics disappear.

The phrase "I’m tired" has become a standard answer

And it’s not always about physical fatigue. It’s the unwillingness to engage in conversation, connection, and care.

You feel more irritated than pleased

If in every action of your partner, you feel annoyance rather than warmth, that’s already emotional detachment.

There is no physical intimacy, or it has become routine

It’s not about more or less, but about quality and desire. If you avoid even touching, it’s a reason to reflect.

Touches become accidental, and sex – rare or mechanical. One of you begins to stay silent more or gets irritated for no reason. Instead of solving problems, you avoid them. Instead of asking, you guess. And the scariest thing – instead of being "together," you gradually become "side by side," the specialist adds.

You speak about your partner in the past tense

"He used to be different," "we used to laugh" – this already feels like a loss, even though the relationship still exists.

You don’t want to plan a future together

You can’t imagine being together a year from now. Or you’re afraid of that thought.

The problem isn’t always infidelity or drama. Often, it’s in the unspoken. Built-up grievances. The fact that you no longer look in the same direction, says the coach.

You’ve become interested in someone else

Even if it’s just imagined flirting, it’s a symptom that something important is missing in the relationship.

If any of this resonates with you, it’s not a reason to run immediately. But a reason to pause and honestly ask yourself: Are we really still together? And most importantly – do I want to be in this relationship? advises Vitalii Kursik.

What to do?

Don’t start a "big talk" right away

The first reaction is to let everything out at once. But that often breaks things instead of fixing them. Instead of reacting emotionally, take a pause. Note exactly what is bothering you.

Speak about yourself, not with accusations

Not "you’ve become distant," but "I feel like there’s less closeness between us." This creates space for dialogue, not defensiveness.

Ask directly, but gently

"How do you feel in our relationship right now?" – This simple question often reveals more than thousands of complaints.

Bring back everyday joys

Touch, dinner together, and a walk without phones. These are basic things, but they’re what cement daily connection.

Work on yourself separately

Paradoxically, for a relationship to survive, you need to strengthen yourself individually. Therapy, exercise, and new skills – this brings back life energy.

Don’t be afraid to turn to a specialist

Couples therapy nowadays isn’t about "we’re breaking down," but "we want better." The main thing is not to wait until a crisis hits.

Interesting facts

• According to the APA, 80% of couples go through a period of emotional disconnection, and only 30% of them notice it.
• Harvard researchers have found that changes in tone during everyday communication are the first indicator of growing distance.
• Psychologists say that 3 years is the critical mark when a couple either transforms or begins to break down at the level of shared values.

You might be interested in:

• Things women never forgive men for
• In what situations relationships are not worth saving, and when it’s best to put an end to them.