Always imagining the worst? Here's how to tame scary scenarios in your mind
How to stop spiraling into panic over anxiety for loved ones (photo: Getty Images)
Worrying about close ones – children, parents, partners – is familiar to everyone. At its core, it stems from genuine love, but the line between care and exhausting fear is very thin. When every 10-minute delay in a call turns in your mind into a catastrophe, it’s no longer about safety – it becomes a psychological problem.
Psychology master and psychotherapist Nataliia Harina explains why intrusive thoughts about the worst happen and how to regain calm.
Mechanism of “danger scanning”
Our brain is evolutionarily wired to detect threats to survival. However, when internal tension is high, this mechanism can work against us.
“The brain has a ‘danger scanning’ mechanism. If your internal anxiety is elevated, it starts looking for confirmation of these fears. Child doesn’t answer for 10 minutes – something happened. Partner is late – an accident. Parents don’t pick up – the worst,” says the psychologist.
Such experiences exhaust the nervous system just as much as if the catastrophe were happening in reality, not only in your mind.
Why do we choose catastrophic scenarios?
Nataliia Harina identifies three main reasons our thinking becomes “toxic” to ourselves:
Illusion of control. We believe that if we think through the worst-case scenario, we will be prepared for it.
Experience. Previous losses or periods of instability make the psyche operate in a mode of anticipating repeated pain.
General anxiety. Constant stress in the surrounding world automatically transfers onto loved ones.
How to stop the daily horror movie: 4 steps from a psychologist
To break the cycle of anxiety, action must be systematic. Nataliya Harina suggests the following self-help methods:
Separate fact from fantas
Learn to recognize reality.
“Fact: the child doesn’t answer for 10 minutes. Fantasy: something tragic happened. Bring yourself back to reality,” advises the specialist.
Limit worry time
Set aside 10–15 minutes a day to write down all fears. If thoughts appear at other times, tell yourself: “I will think about this at the scheduled time.”
Regain control with real actions
Instead of imaginary scenarios, focus on what really works: agree on communication rules, teach the child safety, and support the health of your parents. This is real responsibility.
Train tolerance for uncertainty
Use a support phrase: “I cannot guarantee nothing will happen. But I can handle it if something goes wrong.”
When to seek professional help
Remember, love is not torturing yourself with fear. If catastrophic thoughts become intrusive, disturb sleep, affect work, or damage relationships with loved ones through excessive control, this is a serious reason to consult a specialist.
“Love is not constant fear; it is trust plus reasonable responsibility,” concludes Nataliia Harina.
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This material is for informational purposes only and should not be used for medical diagnosis or self-treatment. Our goal is to provide readers with accurate information about symptoms, causes, and methods of detecting diseases. RBС-Ukraine is not responsible for any diagnoses that readers may make based on materials from the resource. We do not recommend self-treatment and advise consulting a doctor in case of any health concerns.
