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Behavior that indicates desire to control: What to beware of

Behavior that indicates desire to control: What to beware of What behavior actually shows a desire to control (Image: Freepik)

Sometimes charming behavior can conceal a hidden agenda - to manipulate and control. After all, a positive image and certain actions make a person attractive, which allows them to easily turn the situation to their advantage.

HackSpirit discusses behaviors that are not as charming as they seem.

He's always the perfect gentleman

Men who seek control often present themselves as true gentlemen. They are polite, courteous, always know what to say, and create an image of respectability and reliability.

However, it's important to remember that if someone demonstrates gentlemanly behavior, it doesn't necessarily mean they're acting in your best interests. If, despite all the charm, you feel discomfort, perhaps you're seeing certain warning signs in their behavior.

Constant compliments

Certainly, it's nice for everyone to feel special—especially when showered with compliments, making one feel like the center of someone's universe.

Of course, this behavior affects our self-esteem. And while giving compliments is a healthy practice, it can also be a tool of control when a man changes his attitude in case the woman disagrees with his views or in case of differences in preferences.

Unusual compliments

Men who secretly seek to control often use a subtle form of criticism disguised in seemingly charming behavior. They might give a compliment, followed by a critical remark about appearance, friends, or even dreams—or combine these actions into an unusual compliment.

It's so veiled that you might not even notice it at first. But over time, this criticism can undermine self-esteem and self-confidence.

Skill in discussion

Men who seek to control their partner often possess exceptional conversation skills. However, instead of seeking compromise in case of disagreements, manipulators steer the discussion in their favor.

Always has an answer to any question

This trait can be impressive, but it's also a potential warning signal. Such men often position themselves as the ultimate problem solvers.

They use their knowledge to create a sense of indispensability and dependency—making it easier for them to manipulate others.

Stories about the past

For example, they might share stories of how they were wronged in the past or how they endured incredible hardships—and at first glance, it may seem remarkably genuine.

Paradoxically, this manipulation tactic is also employed by men with a desire for control—to evoke sympathy and feelings of guilt in others, which facilitates getting what they want.

Unprecedented generosity

Generosity can be a wonderful quality. However, when used as a tool of control, it becomes manipulation.

Men who seek control often use gifts and favors to create a sense of obligation, constantly reminding of their kindness and demanding something in return.

Constant interest

It's one thing to be interested in a woman's life to support and show sympathy, but it's entirely different to do so to exert control. For example, the desire to know everything about a woman's life—who she was with, where she went, what she did, who she talked to—can be a way of control disguised as friendship.

Better than friends and family

Men who seek control often try to isolate you from your support network. While sharing common interests and leisure activities is necessary for healthy relationships, if a man limits a woman's circle of communication, it's a red flag.

Because the goal of aligning with all of the partner's interests may not be genuine interest—especially if there's criticism of friends or family involved. This way, the man makes you feel lonely and dependent on him for social interaction and support.