This syndrome is very common: How to prevent your care from being obsessive
Why rescuer syndrome occurs and how to deal with it (photo: freepik.com)
The Savior Syndrome is a psychological state where a person focuses on solving others' problems while neglecting their own needs. On a subconscious level, it's not about a genuine desire to help everyone but rather about a hidden need to control the situation and the environment. Often, it is driven by fears of loneliness, self-doubt, and guilt over one's success, according to the Psychological Assistance Telegram channel.
Signs of the savior syndrome
- Focus on others' problems. The person concentrates on others' issues and feels responsible for their happiness and well-being. This behavior allows them to avoid their problems and delay making personal decisions.
- Neglecting self. When someone prioritizes others' needs over their own, it's often a way to become indispensable to someone. This behavior is usually driven by a fear of rejection.
- Difficulty saying "No". They struggle to refuse requests, even when it's inconvenient. This is not out of a genuine desire to help, but rather due to a fear of conflict or a need to please everyone.
- Ignoring personal health. They neglect their own well-being to help others, often in an attempt to earn love and validation.
- Offering unsolicited help. They continuously offer assistance, even when not asked. This is a way for them to feel a sense of significance.
- Feeling indispensable. They see themselves as essential in any situation due to low self-esteem and a desire for recognition through their usefulness.
- Acting as a mediator. They take on the role of a mediator in conflicts, using it as a means to control situations and avoid their own negative emotions.
Causes of the Savior Syndrome
-
Lack of warmth and attention in childhood. Children compensate for a lack of care by helping others.
-
Excessive praise of parents. A lack of understanding of personal boundaries.
-
Unstable parental figures. The need to assume a leading role in the family and an inability to accept care.
-
Unfulfilled in important areas. Compensating for feelings of insignificance by saving others.
-
Manipulation and guilt in dysfunctional families. The formation of guilt as a form of control.
What can be done
-
The savior syndrome can lead to exhaustion, depression, and issues in relationships. It’s important to learn to set personal boundaries, say "no," and care for oneself.
-
Assistance should be given thoughtfully rather than obsessively.
-
To overcome the Savior Syndrome, consulting a psychologist or psychotherapist is recommended. They can help identify the underlying causes and develop a strategy for overcoming it.
