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Identifying 7 key phrases revealing low emotional intelligence

Identifying 7 key phrases revealing low emotional intelligence Illustrative photo (Photo:
Author: Daria Shekina

The ability to empathize and feel another person's pain isn't something everyone possesses. Those who lack it often don't seek to help or support such individuals. Check yourself and those close to you—perhaps you have these qualities.

CNBC reveals 7 phrases that indicate low emotional intelligence.

What is emotional intelligence?

It's the ability to accurately perceive and evaluate the feelings you yourself experience and those felt by others.

People with high emotional intelligence quickly read moods by analyzing verbal and non-verbal signals. They can find the right words in any situation. They understand their own emotions well, enabling them to keep them under control.

Seven phrases that indicate problems with emotional intelligence, according to psychologist Cortney Warren:

"I will never change. Accept me as I am."

The idea of defending one's boundaries is popular now, but psychologists assert that people shouldn't impose their views on others, and no one has the right to judge them. That's true. However, the truth is also that people aren't stones; they change throughout their lives.

People learn new things by experiencing certain situations, meeting others, reading books, watching movies, listening to music, and traveling. And if the people important to you—your parents, your partner—are significant, you'll try to change for the better to facilitate your interactions.

"I don't care how you feel."

This phrase clearly indicates a blatant disregard for others' feelings. It might erupt in the heat of the moment during a difficult situation, but it doesn't change anything.

When you stop putting yourself in someone else's shoes, when you stop empathizing with them, the possibility of friendship, love, or mutually beneficial cooperation in other formats becomes impossible. Your partner understands that they're absolutely unimportant to you.

"You're to blame for how I feel."

People with developed emotional intelligence don't blame the world for their feelings. They understand that certain triggers make them react in a particular way, but reactions are still subjective.

For instance, is a person upset because they were genuinely offended, or are they sensitive and easily offended? The first step is to understand oneself rather than blaming others for making you angry or causing your depression.

"You're just wrong."

Low emotional intelligence prevents people from putting themselves in another person's shoes and seeing the situation from a different perspective. They don't want to consider someone else's opinion or acknowledge the life experience of another person that differs from their own; their opinion seems to be the only right one.

"Stop talking nonsense."

When empathy is a challenge, it's also difficult for a person to control their emotions, especially when they're listening to someone else's story and strongly disagree with their assertions.

Low emotional intelligence literally prevents you from respecting the other person's personality. You might sharply react to their words and devalue everything they've just said.

"I'll never forgive you."

Emotionally mature individuals show great flexibility in communication; they're open to various conversation outcomes, and they know how to forgive and apologize.

They aren't radical or absolute; at least, they understand that it might be difficult for them to forgive someone at the moment, but later, they might reconsider their decision.

"You need to calm down."

People with emotional intelligence also tend to devalue others' feelings. They might question their feelings, call them irrational, demand they "calm down," "not behave foolishly," "not disgrace themselves," or "get it together."

By the way, earlier, we wrote about why people see things differently and how it affects their lives.

We also talked about what to know about the impostor syndrome that hinders living life to the fullest.