Breakup etiquette and its principles

What is breakup etiquette and how does it work

We all tend to view relationships from only one perspective - our own. That's why when things fall apart, we hear statements like, I did so much for them... and they, were ungrateful, or I gave her everything... and she didn't appreciate it. But few can understand that what seems good to us may be toxic for our partner.

Just as at the beginning of a relationship, defining the rules of communication after its end should be done together. When you are alone, you are free to decide whether or not to forget your former partner. However, the decision to remain friends can only be mutual. Friendship is a blessing, but trying to force it on someone who doesn't need it is impossible.

There is no certainty that there is an ethical code of breakups somewhere, but there are always intuitively understandable rules of behavior. Perhaps the most important principle is Do not do unto others what you would not want done to yourself. And it is quite possible that when passions subside, your partner will come to you with an offer of peace and friendship. If, of course, you both adhere to the basic principles of parting ways.

What is breakup etiquette (photo: Freepik)

Don't lie

Don't talk nonsense or disgust about your ex-partner. The only one who ends up looking unattractive in this situation is you.

Don't seek revenge

No matter how painful it is now, revenge will not lead to anything good. It will only tie you up and prevent you from moving on. The best way to settle the score is to let go of the situation and be happy.

Don't stoop to pettiness. No matter how hot the details of your personal life may be, it's not worth broadcasting them. First, you lived with this person, so these quirks didn't bother you. Secondly, everyone will listen with interest, but only to gossip about you behind your back.

Don't pursue or stalk

Don't create problems for yourself by tracking your partner's status on social media. If you need to say something, call or write to them. Express yourself and put a period. First, stalking leads to nothing good and is also punishable by law. Second, while you're looking at pictures of their new life, you're losing your own.

Don't devalue what was

Don't devalue either the experience of past relationships or the good qualities of your ex-partner. Yes, things didn't work out between you, but he still has that amazing sense of humor that attracted you from the very beginning. Yes, you broke up, but you learned to ski and discovered a couple of cool musicians. Memories remain after every relationship.

Also, read our article about 2 signals that indicate relationship problems.