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4 types of attachment in relationships

4 types of attachment in relationships Types of people's attachment (photo: Freepik)

There are various types of attachment, and sometimes it can be difficult to understand what attachment is.

Here is the list of the types of attachment and their characteristics, according to the psychological portal Mentoly.

What are the 4 types of attachment in relationships

The type of attachment is a certain pattern of behavior in relationships that is formed and developed in early childhood through your relationships with your parents.

Attachment type includes how we tend to emotionally react to others, how we typically interact with partners in relationships, and how we behave when it comes to relationships.

Some studies measure four styles of attachment based on individual levels of avoidance and anxiety in relationships:

  • secure
  • anxious
  • avoidant
  • anxious-avoidant.

4 типи привʼязаності у стосунках: перевірте, який з них ваш

Types of human attachment (photo: Freepik)


Your parents were attentive to your needs and requests for help, they formed good emotional contact. You felt safe, felt accepted, and were not afraid to express yourself.

  • you are not afraid of being abandoned: I can live without you, but I want to be with you
  • you have your own opinion and consider the opinions of others: If something is wrong, let's talk about it
  • you do not control or manipulate your partner: It's good that we each have our interests and lives outside of the relationship.


Parents were sensitive, but there was instability in relationships: they alternated between indifference and care. Your needs were almost not met:

  • you are afraid of being abandoned and rejected: Please, just don't leave me, I'll fix everything
  • you cannot stand when your partner spends time away from you: Let's always be together or You're going to see friends without me, you don't love me?
  • you need constant confirmation of reciprocity: Feelings are so difficult or I didn't see any expression of feelings from you today.


Parents were strict and emotionally distant or were absent altogether. They might have been more concerned about grades, chores, or behavior than your feelings, emotions, or fears:

  • when getting closer to a partner, you start feeling uncomfortable: Feelings are a sign of weakness, I don't want to give in to them
  • you often refuse help, have and a strong sense of independence: I can handle it myself
  • You avoid emotional or physical closeness: Be nearby, but not too close.

4 типи привʼязаності у стосунках: перевірте, який з них ваш

Types of human attachment (photo: Freepik)


Your parents left you with childhood traumas through psychological or physical violence. There is also a fear of your parents. Your needs are not being met.

  • in relationships, you remain distant yet dependent: I want to be with you, but I push you away because I'm afraid to love
  • you expect to be pushed away, hurt, or disappointed: I want love and care, but I'm not worthy of it
  • you perceive your partner as an unpredictable person: I trust you, but I'm afraid at the same time.

In reality, you may find yourself in a mix of two or more types but remember: attachment type is acquired, not innate, and can be changed with professional help.

Earlier, we discussed how to quickly relieve stress.

Also, read about the 3 reasons why you're not getting a marriage proposal.