10 unrealistic expectations that quickly destroy any relationship
What expectations destroy personal relationships (photo: freepik.com)
Consciously or unconsciously, we cultivate numerous inflated expectations in relationships. And the most common ones can harm us and even ruin our connection with another person.
The unrealistic expectations that destroy relationships with other people are revealed by Psychologies.
Most people have a list of requirements for their romantic partner. For example, they may want them to be kind, caring, attentive, fun-loving, and generous. Sometimes, we even imagine what we expect from relationships that are already developing. Some may desire discoveries and adventures, while others seek peace and stability, a place to call home, laughter and joy, and the exchange of experiences and passions.
"At some point, we all have high expectations, and we are disappointed when things don't go as we hoped," explains family therapist Michael Bouciquot.
These expectations are fantasies and false hopes that distort your perception of your partner. Popular culture, society, family, and even our close ones can convey expectations to us, which we integrate into our perception of a couple.
For example, a girl may start dreaming about weddings and children just a few months into a relationship and begins expecting marriage proposals. However, the man may have been raised in a stricter family, and such a timeline feels too rushed for him.
Such situations often lead to disillusionment in love. Consequently, we may be reluctant to enter relationships that do not meet our expectations, leading to unrealistic expectations.
"Unrealistic expectations from your relationships can only lead to frustration and disappointment. We must remember that nobody is perfect, and everyone has their flaws," emphasizes Bouciquot.
Psychologists have also identified the most common unrealistic expectations in romantic relationships. These include:
- Expecting the other person to change for you.
- Expecting love to fix itself without putting in any effort.
- Expecting the other person to save and complete you.
- Expecting no conflicts or disagreements.
- Expecting everything to be perfect and no mistakes to be made.
- Expecting the other person to be your sole source of happiness.
- Expecting to love absolutely everything about each other.
- Desiring to share the same values, thoughts, and interests.
- Expecting the other person to fulfill all your emotional, social, and personal needs.
- Expecting the other person to automatically know what you need, think, and feel without needing to communicate it.
Of course, seeking love doesn't mean you have to give up all your expectations and forget about your own standards. But it's important to develop healthy expectations for relationships and other people. To maintain relationships, it's essential to communicate them to your partner, discuss them, and work on achieving them together.
"In fulfilling relationships, people have high hopes for how they are treated. They expect kindness, love, affection, and respect. They do not tolerate emotional or physical violence. They expect loyalty from their partner," explains psychologist John Gottman.
We've also written about the 10 signs that indicate you're being used.
And we've also talked about why people choose "cold" and unavailable partners.
