Parenting mistakes that destroy children's self-confidence

Psychotherapist and author Amy Morin notes that some parenting strategies aimed at boosting children's self-confidence can have the opposite effect. This can significantly harm the child, leading them to feel more restrained and less secure in themselves.

Allowing them to avoid responsibility

Parents often believe that household chores can burden their children and increase stress levels. However, this is not the case; such tasks actually help children become more responsible. Age-appropriate responsibilities allow children to experience mastery and joy from their achievements.

Whether asking a child to help with laundry or take out the trash, these opportunities enable them to see themselves as capable and competent.

Not allowing them to make mistakes

Of course, watching a child face failure is difficult. When this happens, parents often rush in to save them before they fall. However, preventing mistakes robs children of the chance to learn how to bounce back.

Whether it's forgetting their cleats before a big game or answering a quiz question incorrectly, mistakes can be the best teachers. Each one is an opportunity for them to build the mental strength needed to perform better next time.

Protecting them from their own emotions

You may want to comfort your child when they're sad or soothe them when they're distressed or angry. However, how we respond to our children's emotions greatly impacts their emotional intelligence and self-esteem.

Help your children identify what triggers their emotions and teach them self-regulation. Provide a framework that explains what they are feeling, making it easier for them to handle emotions in a socially acceptable way in the future.

Indulging a victim mentality

Statements like "We can't afford new shoes like other kids because we come from a poor background" reinforce to your child that most life circumstances are beyond their control.

Children who acknowledge their life choices tend to feel more confident in their ability to create a better future for themselves. Instead of amplifying their misfortunes, encourage them to take positive actions. For instance, suggest they try earning money for handmade jewelry on their own.

Overprotecting them

Keeping a child in a protective bubble may shield them from many worries, but isolation from various challenges hinders their development. View yourself as a guide rather than a protector. Allow your children to experience life, even if it feels scary to let go. This will allow them to build confidence in their ability to handle any life circumstances.

Expecting perfection

Having high expectations is normal and healthy, but excessively high expectations can have adverse effects. When children perceive expectations as unrealistic, they may not even attempt to meet them or feel they will never live up to them.

Instead, set clear long-term expectations and establish specific milestones along the way. For example, focus on university admission and help your child create short-term goals, such as achieving good grades, completing homework, and reading frequently.

Punishing instead of disciplining

Children need to learn that some actions lead to serious consequences. However, there is a significant difference between discipline and punishment. Disciplining teaches children to think, "I made a poor choice," while punishment leads them to believe, "I am a bad person."

Discipline instills confidence in a child’s ability to make smarter, healthier choices in the future, while punishment fosters the belief that they are incapable of doing better.