How to resist manipulations: Psychologist's advice
Through manipulative tactics, individuals possess the ability to control us and coerce us into actions that serve their interests. Some struggle to identify such behavioral patterns and defend themselves against them. However, mastering this skill is of utmost importance for everyone.
Psychologist Yuliya Zheleznyakova shared insights on avoiding manipulation on her Instagram.
Methods employed by manipulators
"Where manipulation begins, friendship, love, and emotional closeness fade away. The aftermath is always repulsive - a bad mood, feelings of shame or guilt, a sense that someone now owes something to someone else, a feeling of degradation," explains Yuliya.
Manipulation involves concealed psychological influence using emotions, feelings, and the partner's states to gain advantages.
"And manipulators are those who play the strings of others' trust, like a master playing the violin. Emotions themselves are tools of manipulation. A person aims to preserve and enhance pleasant emotions while simultaneously avoiding unpleasant experiences. Manipulators exploit this," explains the psychologist.
Sustaining discomfort for a long time is challenging, prompting individuals to consciously or unconsciously seek an exit. If the manipulation succeeds, they choose an action or behavior advantageous to the manipulator.
"In manipulation, they touch upon and intentionally amplify the feelings of others to achieve their own results. Manipulation can even stem from feelings of pity and sympathy. Beggars effectively exploit this form of manipulation," says Zheleznyakova.
She adds that manipulators also exploit feelings of curiosity and love.
Resisting manipulation
"When we realize that we've been led astray, it seems we have two options. First, to reject everything said and done before recognizing the manipulation. Second, to agree to the manipulator's terms. That's what the opponent wants. But there's a third option - to expose the manipulation. To directly tell the opponent that what they are doing is manipulation," the psychologist explains.
However, choosing the third option requires putting oneself first. It demands the strength to endure the loss of illusions created by the manipulator and potentially even losing the manipulator themselves. This can be particularly painful if the manipulator is someone you love and trust.
"Manipulators seek out our weaknesses and attempt to present them to us as strengths, and vice versa. Learn about yourself and learn to live through losses. This is life. Occasionally, we all fall into the trap of a manipulator. It's crucial to stop in time because the consequences of succumbing to manipulation can be very serious," notes the expert.