How to break out of series of life failures

Why is it difficult to break out of a string of failures

"Many of us are familiar with the story when disbelief in ourselves and our strengths destroys the desire to change something. This makes us hostages of one of the life scenarios - the scenario of helplessness. With our actions (or often their absence), we continue to feed such a script. It's not hard to guess who suffers from this. Therefore, we draw the necessary conclusions and start breaking the pattern," says the psychologist.

She emphasizes that the causes of failures can be different and not always within our control. However, a person can change their attitude towards the situation, and thus the path out of the crisis can be more productive.

The psychologist names 5 reasons why people feel helpless and lack confidence in their abilities to change something in life.

You are completely disillusioned with yourself

"You are completely discouraged in the belief that anything can be achieved, even if you put in maximum effort. The mere thought of these efforts evokes feelings of inadequacy and fear of failure. As a result, a person simply does not attempt to achieve anything," says Holentovska.

Belief that you are a failure

"A person believes that everyone already sees them as a failure. Negative evaluations don't need to be earned - they are given for free. A person would rather refuse the opportunity to break out of the vicious circle than realize their vulnerability or incapacity," explains the psychologist.

You have an illusion of dependence on others

"You believe that you can't cope alone. You want someone to be there and tell you what to do. You always need to have the right example to follow, so as not to make mistakes," says Holentovska.

You tend to have magical thinking

"You believe that sudden changes will come someday, and success will come suddenly. Of course, no one talks about efforts - at most, there's a wish list. You constantly expect the feeling of the right moment, but it never comes," explains the psychologist.

You have a low level of self-control

"You lack experience in persistently completing tasks. There are no ideas about how to achieve the desired result through your actions. Therefore, your brain does not know this algorithm," says the expert.

So how do you break out of a string of failures

Holentovska emphasizes that no one is immune from failure. The difference between those who get stuck and those who break free is the meaning they give to the situation.

For those who get stuck, experience is perceived as a verdict of futile effort - I still won't be able to. Why bother trying?

For those who break free, experience is a valuable lesson for the next attempt, the next step, analysis - effort/result.

"So we choose for ourselves how to perceive our failures - continue to feed our life script or break it," says the psychologist.

Also, read about how to get rid of chronic anxiety - 5 tips from a psychologist.