4 innocent phrases that can destroy even the strongest couple
What simple phrases can ruin your relationship with a loved one (photo: Getty Images)
Experts call certain phrases the biggest lies that partners use to smooth over sharp edges or avoid arguments. But in reality, they only worsen the situation and can ultimately ruin relationships.
Here are four simple phrases that can destroy any strong relationship.
Lies destroy any relationship. However, people do not always understand the meaning of this phrase. Of course, one should not lie, as it can lead to a loss of trust from the partner. But lies can be not entirely obvious.
For example, partners may try to defuse a conflict by using certain phrases, which can deceive their partners. Here are the phrases to avoid in order not to ruin the relationship:
"I’m fine"
This is a typical situation where a man or woman has problems at work, in their surroundings, or within the family. The person feels overwhelmed, comes home in a bad mood, and when their partner asks, "What happened?" they respond, "I’m fine."
"It seems to the person that this way they are protecting their partner from stress and unnecessary worries. But in reality, this phrase kills your relationship. Firstly, the partner understands that they are being lied to. Secondly, both of you start to drift apart, undermining trust. All of this ends in a scandal when suppressed emotions eventually burst to the surface," explains the psychologist.
"It’s no big deal"
Sometimes, a person does things that you don't like. This could be excessive communication with the opposite sex, a lack of help at home, or a refusal to improve the family's financial situation.
But instead of discussing the situation constructively and openly, you tell your partner, "It’s fine, it’s no big deal." In this way, you convince yourself and your partner that your feelings don’t matter. Your self-esteem deteriorates, trust disappears, and the relationship falls apart.
That’s why it’s important to protect your boundaries; this is the only way to build healthy relationships.
"I will help you change"
Psychologists have long concluded and insisted that you must accept your partner entirely, just as they are. If there are certain character traits you are not ready to tolerate, then, unfortunately, it’s better to end the relationship.
However, some people naively and stubbornly try to reshape the person to fit their ideals - they want to save, change, and improve them. It seems that love and patience will be enough to overcome all difficulties. But the partner must genuinely want to change something about themselves for the comfort of their loved one. Otherwise, you are just wasting time.
"People can grow and evolve, but change must come from within, not from someone else’s efforts or expectations. When you enter a relationship hoping to change fundamental aspects of your partner, you’re not truly accepting them for who they are. This lie leads to frustration, resentment, and, often, the realization that you’ve been in love with an idealized version of someone rather than who they are," explains Bernstein.
"We shouldn’t talk about this"
Another common mistake people make in relationships is trying to avoid difficult conversations. It seems that this will lead to an argument, so as soon as a problem arises, it is stubbornly ignored. And if one partner brings up the topic, the other refuses to discuss it - acting as if everything will resolve itself.
As a result, an emotional chasm begins to form between them. They no longer trust each other, don’t want to share their innermost thoughts, and eventually stop communicating altogether. Such relationships become burdensome, and over time, one of the partners may decide to end it.
