Signs you were raised by toxic mother
How to understand that you have a toxic mother (photo: Freepik)
Unhealthy relationships with a mother can have long-lasting negative consequences. Negative effects for the child include depression, anger, and behavioral problems. It is important to know the signs that may indicate you are in an unhealthy relationship, according to the website Best life online.
Impact on children
Toxic mothers are not just passively selfish, their behavior negatively impacts the emotional, psychological, and sometimes even physical well-being of their child.
Psychiatrist Carole Lieberman explains that when people talk about a toxic mother, they often point to patterns of manipulation, control, neglect, or abusive behavior. Over time, such behavior can significantly affect a child's self-esteem, sense of security, interpersonal relationships, and overall mental health.
These issues can also include low self-esteem, chronic anxiety, depression, and difficulties in trusting one's own perceptions and feelings.
Signs of a toxic mom
Continuous criticism
Humiliation can range from reproaches for what you ordered for lunch to how you are raising your own child, and can be focused on who you are as a person.
Continuous criticism from parents can create a high level of self-doubt in a child, leading to difficulties in making healthy decisions.\
Comparing you to someone else
A toxic mother may also start belittling you through constant comparisons with siblings, peers, or even strangers.
They will do so in a way that diminishes the child's worth. For example, they may say, "Why can't you dress more appropriately like your friend?"
Such words can harm a child's self-esteem and lead to them feeling the need to compete for positive praise.
Does not allow to express the thoughts
Toxic mothers never find time to listen to their child.
When a mother lacks interest and is more concerned with her own needs than the needs of the child, these are signs of a toxic mother.
Rejects your feelings
Even if you get a chance to say something, a toxic mother is often emotionally unavailable, indifferent, or disdainful towards the feelings and needs of her child.
For example, a child tells their mother that they were bullied at school and don't want to go there. A toxic mother might respond: "Life is tough, and you need to toughen up."
This means that the child cannot rely on anyone to improve their situation.
Emotional manipulation
Inducing feelings of guilt, passive-aggressive behavior, or playing the role of a victim are also common tactics.
This is just one way to gain control over your child's actions and emotions.
Unpredictable mood swings
One of the signs of a toxic mother is her abrupt mood changes that are impossible to predict.
The lack of predictability can lead to wild emotional fluctuations in a child, who may feel anxiety, fear, or extreme vigilance.
Her love is usually conditional
Unconditional love is a huge component of healthy parental relationships.
On the other hand, toxic maternal love is often conditional. Overall, this means that affection is only shown when the child meets certain expectations or behaves a certain way, leading to feelings of unworthiness and vulnerability.
