'Love is suffering', 'children save marriage' and 5 more misconceptions about ideal relationships
What myths about love and relationships should not be believed (photo: Freepik)
We all grew up on romantic myths from TV shows, books, and grandmother's stories, which, unfortunately, had nothing to do with real life. And if you're still looking for "that perfect love," you may have some completely wrong ideas in your head, states life coach and sexologist Vitalii Kursik.
1. Love is suffering
There is also constant pain, tears, and emotional swings. Well, if you believe the melodramas, then yes. But in reality, love is about joy, mutual respect, and support.
Why it's dangerous: These beliefs make you tolerate toxic relationships, justify violence (emotional or physical), and choose partners who use you.
Truth: Love should not be a battlefield. It is a union of two adults who know how to hear each other.
2. Children save the marriage
Oh, the classics of the genre! If you're having relationship problems, just have a baby, and everything will work out. And now, instead of two confused people, there is a third little person who needs your attention 24/7.
Why it's dangerous: A child does not solve problems. It only adds to the burden and exacerbates conflicts that you have not resolved before.
Truth: Solve your problems as partners first, and then become parents.
3. In true love, words are not needed
Ah, this magical "he must understand me without words". No, friends, he doesn't.
Why it's dangerous: Lack of communication leads to resentment, misunderstandings, and quarrels. Your partner is not a telepath and does not read your mind.
Truth: Talk about your feelings, wants, and needs. Your openness is the key to a healthy relationship.
4. There are no conflicts in a good relationship
If you never quarrel, then you either have a perfect couple, or one of you just puts up with everything all the time.
Why it's dangerous: Repressed conflicts build up and eventually explode with double the force.
Truth: Conflicts are normal. The main thing is to learn to resolve them constructively.
5. Jealousy is a sign of love
"If he's jealous of you, he loves you!" Or "he's jealous because he's afraid of losing you." In fact, jealousy is not love, but distrust and one's own complexes.
Why it's dangerous: Jealousy often causes control, manipulation, and even violence in relationships.
Truth: Trust and freedom are the basic components of healthy love.
6. The ideal partner will do everything for your relationship
You can just enjoy yourself, and your partner will solve all the problems. But, no.
Why it's dangerous: Relationships are about teamwork. If one person "pulls" everything, he or she quickly burns out and loses the desire to be in this relationship.
Truth: A healthy union is when both people are invested emotionally, mentally, and physically.
7. Love is always eternal
Romance, emotions, butterflies in the stomach... And then? If you don't work on your relationship, it fades away like a candle.
Why it's dangerous: Waiting for eternal passion leads to disappointment and even breakup.
Truth: Love changes. It grows and transforms. The butterflies disappear over time, but a deep intimacy and friendship emerge in their place.
How to abandon myths and build healthy relationships
- Be honest with yourself and your partner
- Learn to speak and listen
- Develop trust and support
- Give up illusions about "perfection"
"Love is not about drama, sacrifice, or fantasy. It is about real people who create something real. As for myths, we'll leave them for TV series," Vitalii Kursik summarizes.
