How to tell your husband about divorce: Psychologist's advice
Illustrative photo (Freepik)
Regardless of the nature of the relationship, divorce is always a painful process. Along with the person leaving our lives, a significant part of our dreams, hopes, and aspirations also go. During the decision-making stage, you may hesitate, think, and weigh your options for a long time. Warm shared memories, a sense of duty, and the reluctance to go through the separation process – this weighing stage can drag on for years. When the balance finally tips and the decision to divorce is made, the question arises – how to tell your spouse?
Psychologist, psychotherapist, and sexologist Nataliia Harina shared advice on how to talk to your spouse about divorce in a comment for RBC-Ukraine.
Consider these tips to make the conversation constructive:
1. Be honest with yourself
Before starting the conversation, clearly define for yourself the reasons why you want to divorce. This will help you be more confident and articulate your thoughts clearly during the discussion.
2. Choose time and place
It's important to find the appropriate moment for this conversation. Choose a time when both of you are calm and can discuss without rushing. Avoid situations where your partner might be tired or upset by other issues.
3. Prepare for reaction
Understand that your news may trigger various emotions in your partner – from shock and anger to sadness. Be prepared for different reactions and try to stay calm and maintain a constructive tone.
4. Use I-messages
Start sentences with "I" to avoid accusations and focus on your own feelings and desires. For example: "I feel that we need to separate because I am unhappy in this marriage."
5. Be specific and clear
Do not give hope for reconciliation if you are sure of your decision. Explain your position clearly and honestly.
6. Avoid accusations and insults
Speak calmly and respectfully. Accusations and insults will only complicate the situation and may make the breakup more painful for both parties.
7. Propose discussing next steps
After conveying your decision, suggest discussing how to proceed. This can include property division, financial matters, or arrangements regarding children.
8. Seek support
After a difficult conversation, you may feel emotional stress. Do not hesitate to seek support from friends, relatives, or a professional.
"Divorce is a complex process, but honesty and mutual respect can help make it less painful for both sides. Be prepared for the adaptation process to take some time, but ultimately, this can be the first step towards a new, happy life. I hope these tips help you approach this difficult conversation properly," advises Nataliia Harina.
