9 signs your dog actually controls you, not the other way around

Dog constantly occupies the best spot on the couch

A dog that considers itself the alpha will claim the most comfortable spots in the house, especially on the couch or bed. They might nudge you aside or jump up without invitation, insisting on being in the best spot.

This behavior is a sign of dominance, and although it’s natural for a dog to want to be close to its people, an alpha dog will disregard boundaries or your personal space.

Alpha dog behavior isn't always noticeable (photo: freepik.com)

Ignoring commands and detachment

One of the most noticeable signs that your dog is trying to dominate is the tendency to ignore commands. When a dog sees itself as the leader, it refuses to listen to you, no matter how often you call its name or give a command.

This behavior can stem from a lack of respect for authority and can create tension in the relationship with the owner. Dogs naturally follow their pack leader – the owner – but when they consider themselves the leader, they may selectively ignore your requests or not listen at all.

Growling or snapping in response to a threat

When your dog is possessive of toys, food, or space, it may growl or snap its teeth if it senses a threat to these things. This behavior is a direct result of trying to protect what they consider theirs.

While it's natural for dogs to protect, alpha dogs do this even when there’s no real need. They assert control over resources and send a clear message to all family members, even the owner, that they are in charge of everything.

First through the door

Dogs that see themselves as the alpha often head straight for the door without waiting for permission. This behavior goes beyond simply wanting to go outside or into another room. It's about control of the situation and asserting their authority.

In a pack, the leader always goes first, and your dog may be mimicking this natural instinct, rushing ahead of you and thereby demonstrating that it occupies the leader's position in the family.

Aggressive behavior towards other pets

If you have other pets in your home, an alpha dog will often display aggressive behavior towards them to assert its dominance. They may push them aside, growl at them, or even lunge at them if they get too close.

While pets often squabble, the alpha will control the actions of other animals in the house. This can lead to tension and territorial disputes, as the dog attempts to establish a clear hierarchy with the other animals.

Disrespecting your space

Another clear sign that your dog sees itself as the alpha is the disregard for your personal space. While dogs are naturally affectionate, alpha dogs may invade your space at every turn to remind you of their dominance.

They might insist on sitting on you, pinning you in a chair, or preventing you from moving around the house. This can be frustrating and even irritating, but it's the dog’s way of reminding you that it’s in charge, even at the expense of your comfort.

Refusal to share resources

For a dog, resources include food, toys, and even attention, so alpha dogs will refuse to share what they have. They may growl if someone takes their toys or if other animals approach their food bowl.

This behavior can extend to the owner as well, as they will demand all of your attention, not allowing anyone to get too close. This behavior indicates that the dog is trying to take responsibility for the home, the owner, and everything in the house.

Stubbornness during training

Dogs that see themselves as the alpha will be the most stubborn during training. They may resist learning new commands or intentionally refuse to follow instructions. This behavior reflects a desire to prove they are in charge and don’t have to listen to you. While some dogs are naturally more independent, a true alpha will challenge you, testing how much control it truly has over its environment. They may follow commands, but only when they decide it’s on their terms.

Constantly seeking attention

Dogs that believe they are the alpha often demand attention on their terms. They might move your hand with their paw, nudge you, or bark persistently, making it clear that they need your attention immediately.

This behavior is less about affection and more about control over when and how you interact. They remind you that they are the ones in charge of how your relationship unfolds, not you. What’s key here is that the attention-seeking behavior is persistent.

What to do if you have an alpha dog

Set clear rules:

• The dog must know who is in charge at home.
• Establish clear behavioral rules and stick to them.
• Don’t allow the dog to break the rules, even if it looks very cute.

Training:

• Teach your dog commands like "sit," "lie down," "place," and "no."
• Use positive reinforcement (treats, praise).
• Train regularly so the dog doesn't forget the commands.

Resource control:

• Decide when the dog eats, drinks, and plays.
• Don’t leave food in a place where the dog can reach it.
• Decide when the dog gets toys.

Ignore unwanted behavior:

• If the dog barks to get attention, ignore it.
• Don’t respond to begging for food from the table.
• Don’t give the dog what it wants if it behaves poorly.

Be consistent:

• All family members must follow the same rules.
• Don’t let the dog do something you’ve previously forbidden.
• Be patient and persistent.

Consult a professional:

If you can’t handle the dog’s behavior on your own, consult a dog trainer.

A trainer will help you establish the right relationship with your dog.