9 questions to ask on first date: Find out if you have future together
What questions to ask on a first date (photo: Freepik)
Finding a partner is always a challenge. However, we often face difficulties when it comes to deciding whether to continue a relationship after one or more dates Fortunately, there are some key questions that can help us figure it out, reports Metro.
Jeff, a professional relationship counselor, has created a special list of questions to discuss on first dates.
They will help you avoid any misunderstandings in the future. And thanks to the answers, you will be able to understand whether it is worth moving on with this partner.
Is there someone who thinks they are in a relationship with you?
Saying that you are not in a relationship is one thing, but knowing that there is someone who may be thinking about a relationship is another.
Even if there is no desire to continue or the relationship has almost ended. This question will help you avoid unpleasant surprises in the future.
What is your definition of betrayal, both physical and emotional?
People sometimes have very different ideas about what constitutes cheating and betrayal in a relationship. Talk about the significance of flirting with other people, liking old girlfriends or ex-boyfriends on social media.
What may be acceptable to you may not be acceptable to your partner. Therefore, it is worth setting these boundaries right away to avoid unpleasant situations later.
What kind of relationship do you want?
This is one of the most important questions to ask on a first date. In the modern world, there are all types of relationship dynamics, and there are more and more alternatives to monogamy. Believe me, you don't want to find out about your partner's polygamy six months into the relationship.
If your types of relationships and views on this do not match, you should find out about it right away to avoid serious problems in the future.
How do you feel about the fact that we will eventually live together?
Moving in with a partner is part of the expected cycle at some point in a relationship. That's what society tells us. But this is not a mandatory point.
It is important to understand that you and your partner see this development in the same way or have your own specific views.
Also, find out if your partner thinks it's just a test, a transition to a more convenient and comfortable existence, or if it will mean that you are on the way to marriage.
Are there any weird things you like in bed?
Everyone has something special that turns them on. Whether it's a fetish, playing with food, BDSM, or whatever, there's no shame in what turns you on as long as it's legal, of course.
Your goal is not to find out all of your partner's tastes right away, but to find out if you should expect surprises in bed. Sometimes they may not be very pleasant. It is better to understand who you are dealing with.
What might we care about most?
Put all the cards on the table and immediately discuss frankly what is very important to you. This could be the timetable for your relationship, how you feel about your friends or parents, how you want to approach children in the future, different communication styles, money - anything that may be of concern to you personally.
Are you ready to be my main emotional support?
You might naturally assume that the person you're in a relationship with will be your main emotional support. But some people may not be ready for this.
Ask what this emotional support will look like because one person's way of helping may not be suitable for another as the need is completely different.
If your partner is not ready to be the main support, ask them how they would feel about someone else being the main support.
What is taking up a lot of your energy right now?
This question will help you understand your partner's priorities and what is important to them. If you give your energy to different things, do you agree on this?
It can be creativity, relationships, family, parties, studying, work, sports. But this can change over time.
What do I need to know before we start moving forward?
This question is also very important because it often leads to really honest and insightful answers. There is no plan or option here - you need to say what comes to mind and what may cause misunderstandings in the future.
We also talked about the 10 rules to build a full and stable relationship.
