5 things you should never talk about on first date
Which 5 topics should be taboo on first dates (photo: Getty Images)
Dating isn’t a job interview or a church confession – though sometimes it feels like some people don’t get the memo. Instead of light flirting and getting to know each other, you’re suddenly listening to stories about exes, deep therapy sessions, hemorrhoids, and how we’ll split the budget in the future.That kind of start can ruin even the most promising connection.
So, which topics are best left unsaid - at least on the first few dates? Life coach Vitalii Kursik shared his insights with RBC-Ukraine.
Exes
When talking about that jerk or that witch takes up half the evening, it's a red flag.
“Because this is a person who hasn’t let go of the past and isn’t ready for something new. And you definitely don’t want to play the role of emotional rehab specialist,” the expert says.
Money and financial expectations
“How much do you earn?” or “Are you into equal budgeting?” — these questions sound like a sponsorship check when asked on a first date. They create tension and suspicion.
Kids and weddings — tomorrow already?
Even if you're dreaming of a family, it’s best to avoid direct questions like “What baby names do you like?” or “Are you into big weddings?” early on. It puts unnecessary pressure on the conversation.
“Topics from the ‘life plans’ category are better discussed when a genuine connection has formed and you’re both sure you want to move forward together,” the expert advises.
Illnesses and medical history
Especially with graphic details — and even more so with photos. No one goes on a date hoping to see your MRI scan or hear about your blood pressure trends over the past month.
Philosophy, politics, conspiracy theories
Deep conversations are great — but not everyone wants to search for the meaning of life between coffee and cheesecake. And it’s best to steer clear of ideological debates, as they’re the quickest way to start an argument before the second cup of coffee arrives.
Why is this important from a psychological perspective?
"First dates are a safe space. The goal isn’t to submit an application to get married, but to understand whether you feel good with this person or not. Taboo topics aren’t always toxic — it’s just not the right time for them yet. Restraint is a sign of emotional intelligence," explains Vitalii Kursik.
A date shouldn’t feel like an interrogation — it’s meant to be a light, pleasant interaction with another person. There will be time for deep conversations later. For now, let the chemistry unfold.
