5 phrases emotionally immature parents use
Phrases emotionally immature parents use (photo: Freepik)
There are certain phrases that emotionally immature parents often use. These phrases may vary, but their essence remains the same. Behind them is an adult who, tries to emphasize importance through the child or seeks the love and support they once lacked, according to Ukrainian psychologist Oleksandra Moroz.
How to recognize emotionally immature parents
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"No one will bring me a glass of water in old age, no one needs me." This phrase actually means that the adults did not feel needed by their parents in their childhood, so they try to feel importance, love, and support through their child.
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"I gave birth to you in suffering, didn't sleep at night, and you..." This means that the decision to have a child was not conscious but rather done because "everyone does." Again, the mother tries to feel her importance by exaggerating her pain to make the child feel guilty.
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"I do so much for you, I'm ready to do anything for you." This means that the person actually does everything for themselves to feel their importance through the child's sense of guilt.
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"I've lived longer, I know better what you need to do." This means that the mother doesn't see the child as an adult and evaluates people based on their merits, thus devaluing the child's experience.
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"I don't know, ask your mom or I'll tell your dad, he has the belt right now." This means that parents don't feel like mature moms or dads and shift responsibility to others, making the child feel embarrassed.
What to do if you're saying these phrases to your child
Firstly, acknowledge that there's a problem.
Before saying something similar, make a pause. Managing emotions is difficult, but don't let them control you. Take a breath, exhale, and continue the conversation with your child. If it's challenging to get rid of these toxic phrases on your own, seek help from a psychologist.
Check out also How to teach your child to fend off bullying.
