10 tips for setting personal boundaries at work and home
Psychologist gave advice on how to set boundaries (photo: Getty Images)
Now everyone is talking about personal boundaries and the need to defend them. But how can this be done in the least painful way for yourself and others? There is no magic pill that can instantly change everything. However, certain steps can help you listen to yourself and your own needs, as well as improve your interaction with loved ones, friends, and colleagues.
Larysa Kondratska, a candidate of psychological sciences and a psychologist at the "SpivDiia Hub Kharkiv," gave some tips on how to set boundaries in a comment to RBC-Ukraine.
The expert emphasizes that personal boundaries are a certain limit that separates us from others, a zone where we do not allow anyone. They define our integrity and what is permissible in interactions with others.
How to know that you need to establish personal boundaries? There are several signs:
- You feel overwhelmed
- You become upset when people ask for your help
- You avoid phone calls and communication with people who you think might ask you for something
- You complain about helping others without receiving anything in return
- You feel burned out
- You often dream of quitting everything and just disappearing
- You have no time for yourself
"People with violated personal boundaries spend a lot of energy trying to preserve relationships - with family, friends, colleagues. This is most often associated with a fear of losing their affection. The person is ready to compromise, agree, and adapt to others, at the expense of themselves. Such interaction does not bring the desired comfort and harmony, but only disappointment and pain," explains Larysa Kondratska.
10 steps to establish or protect personal boundaries
Engage in self-reflection
Find time for self-analysis and understand your values, needs, and limitations. Think about past experiences when boundaries were violated and how you would react in similar situations in the future.
Define your boundaries
Decide what behavior or actions are acceptable to you and which are not. This can include physical (personal space), emotional (sharing feelings), and time boundaries (work-life balance).
Communicate assertively
Use "I-statements" to defend your needs without blaming or being aggressive toward others. For example, say, "I feel uncomfortable when you raise your voice at me. Please speak to me calmly," instead of "You always yell at me!"
Learn to say "no"
Refuse requests, invitations, or commitments that do not align with your priorities or values. This doesn't make you a bad or cold person; it helps you preserve time and inner peace.
Inform others about the possible consequences of violating your boundaries
This may include walking away from a situation, taking a break from a relationship, or seeking external support if necessary.
Learn to delegate
Recognize that you don’t need to do everything yourself. Trust others to handle certain tasks to save time and energy.
Set digital boundaries
Limit screen time, and establish tech-free zones or specific hours. This helps protect your mental health.
Find support
Develop relationships based on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. Distance yourself from those who constantly disregard your boundaries.
Practice self-care
Engage in activities that restore your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This could be exercise, meditation, hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or therapy.
Consult a psychologist if necessary
A psychologist can provide recommendations, tools, and strategies to help you set personal boundaries in various areas of your life.
Larysa Kondratska adds that establishing and maintaining personal boundaries is a dynamic process that requires practice, patience, and self-compassion.
"Remember, setting personal boundaries is not selfishness, but self-care. It’s about self-respect and expanding your possibilities. With the right approach, it will benefit both you and those around you," concludes Kondratska.
