'I have stage 4 cancer, my husband has been in captivity for 2 years': How Ukrainian woman fights for her beloved

Ukraine, Fri, February 23, 2024 - 11:55

Olha Kurtmallaieva (collage: RBC-Ukraine)

Olha is 24 years old and has stage four lymphoma. Her husband Ruslan is a soldier who was captured in Mariupol at the Ilyich plant. Since then, Olha has been trying to free her beloved despite the pain and difficulties.

By founding her non-governmental organization, Olha helped to free many of Ruslan's comrades-in-arms. However, she is still waiting for her husband's return.

RBC-Ukraine spoke with Olha Kurtmallaieva about the difficulties of exchanges and what helps her keep her head up.

Getting to know her husband

Olha was born in the city of Berdiansk. Her future husband Ruslan has been serving in the Armed Forces of Ukraine for over 10 years and participated in the Anti-Terrorist Operation/Joint Forces Operation.

Their age difference is five years. According to Olha, she doesn't feel it in her marriage, but at the beginning of the relationship, five years is like a gap.

"I was very young, I was 15 years old. He seemed to me very mature. But he made me fall in love with his attitude towards me. He cherishes me like a rose. He never tells me anything bad. As long as he was in the ATO/JFO zone, he never said anything bad to me. "Everything is fine, everything is fine," says Olha.

'I have stage 4 cancer, my husband has been in captivity for 2 years': How Ukrainian woman fights for her beloved

Olha and Ruslan met when she was 15 years old (photo: instagram.com/olga.kurtmallaeva)

'I have stage 4 cancer, my husband has been in captivity for 2 years': How Ukrainian woman fights for her beloved Olha and Ruslan met when she was 15 years old (photo: instagram.com/olga.kurtmallaeva)

When she turned 18, the couple got married almost immediately. Showing photos from the wedding, Olha can't help but smile and calls these memories the happiest of her life.

The girl adds that she doesn't know when she will be able to smile and be happy again.

Sudden diagnosis

In 2021, Olha was diagnosed with second-stage lymphoma or Hodgkin's disease. This is a neoplasm that belongs to malignant tumors of the lymphatic system.

The girl immediately began treatment. Her husband's support was the best medicine.

"At that time, I traveled to Mariupol very often because I was undergoing treatment there. You know, it was a chance for my husband to come to my hospital for at least a day, and he was released," says Olha.

Faith even in the most difficult moments

On December 6, 2021, Ruslan's 501st Battalion entered the Joint Forces Operation zone to defend the village of Shyrokyne, Donetsk region. There they met a full-scale Russian invasion, and later they were transferred to Mariupol.

However, even in the toughest battles, the man found an opportunity to encourage his wife, who remained in the temporarily occupied Berdiansk.

"He calls me from Mariupol and says: "Everything is fine". Everyone calls to say goodbye, and he says: "Don't worry, we're going to Crimea for a vacation in the summer". He was already surrounded," the girl recalls.

Once Ruslan even saved her life from a distance

"You know, he never yells at me, but once I pick up the phone from him, he just screams: "Take cover!" and hangs up. And I turn to the window and see a Russian fighter jet flying towards my house," Olha says.

At the time, she did not know how difficult it was for the soldiers to receive these calls from the almost-surrounded Mariupol. The guys used to call from a push-button phone, which they shared. Such devices are much more convenient and safer in combat conditions. The only problem was with the connection.

"They were climbing on houses to make calls. One communication stick, and they were calling in one by one, under the bombs. I understood that any second could cost a life, but I would never have agreed to him risking his life once again just to make a call," she emphasizes.

She adds that even just a period in the messages was a lifeline. But not for long, because the situation was changing every minute.

"There were thoughts that he might not be alive, but I pushed them away. People told me that guys were getting their limbs blown off. I thought: "Yeah, if it's his legs, we'll find a car with manual control, he'll be able to do that." I was distracted by the fact that I was thinking about our life in advance if something happened to him," says Olha.

'I have stage 4 cancer, my husband has been in captivity for 2 years': How Ukrainian woman fights for her beloved Ruslan called Olia from besieged Mariupol to reassure her that everything would be fine and warn her of the danger (photo: instagram.com/olga.kurtmallaeva)

Test of captivity

The 501st Marine Battalion, where Ruslan serves, was defending the Ilyich plant in Mariupol. On April 4, the entire battalion was captured.

Olia's first reaction was tears, and then came incomprehension.

"I exhaled a little that his life was not in danger every second. Although in captivity it is still in danger because only two days ago we learned that our second guy was killed and tortured in Russian captivity. At that time, I did not fully understand what captivity was, because no one had ever experienced it," the girl admits.

At that moment, she began to realize that living in Berdiansk was becoming more dangerous. In particular, because she is the wife of a Ukrainian soldier.

"I was sure that I would be turned in. I was shocked that my city was so pro-Russian. I mean, I didn't think it was possible. Now I understand that they (Russian military - ed.) found my and my husband's documents in the military registration and enlistment office. They came with these documents. That is, it was not someone who handed them over, they were digging around and found them. I was going to serve before I got sick on a contract basis," Olha recalls.

She could not leave the city because she was still undergoing treatment with an individualized drug. As soon as the treatment was over, she left for Zaporizhzhia and then Kyiv.

Communication with her husband in captivity

"The first video with him was released in December 2022, a short one-minute video. I know where it was filmed. They filmed all the prisoners of war. He was already very thin then. It was hard to watch it all. But at the same time, I was happy, because it was a hope that he was alive," the girl shares her memories.

In May 2023, she received a four-line letter from Ruslan. In it, he wrote that he loved Olha and hoped they would meet soon.

In October, Ruslan was able to call his wife. After a visit to the hospital, she went to the supermarket to buy groceries, and suddenly she received a call from a Russian number.

"I pick up the phone, there's a rustling noise and they hang up. You always hope to hear this call, but it's something fantastic, no one has ever called before. It's the same number again on the video link. I pick up the phone and see my husband. And you know, they say that the ground has gone under my feet. I always thought it was a catchphrase, but it wasn't. I just sat down, because my legs just couldn't hold me. And these are tears at once. And I see how thin he is, and he still smiles.

In fact, out of the five minutes that he called me, maybe two minutes we just didn't say anything. You want to say so much, but nothing seems important at that moment. He asked me how I was feeling. And I lied to him. Because how could I tell him the truth while he's there?" Olha recalls this moment.

It was Ruslan's mother's birthday. Olha told him about it, so the Russian representatives allowed him to call his mother.

"He called his mom for two minutes, and all he said was: "Mom, tell me honestly how's Olia". His mom called me back. I said: "Oh, my God, tell me you didn't tell him the truth." She says, "Of course not." He will come back and be angry with us for this, of course. Well, what else could we do? What was I supposed to say? That while you were away, my cancer went from stage two to stage four?" Olha explains.

'I have stage 4 cancer, my husband has been in captivity for 2 years': How Ukrainian woman fights for her beloved

In Kyiv, Olha is doing everything possible to free her husband from Russian captivity (photo: instagram.com/olga.kurtmallaeva)

'I have stage 4 cancer, my husband has been in captivity for 2 years': How Ukrainian woman fights for her beloved In Kyiv, Olha is doing everything possible to free her husband from Russian captivity (photo: instagram.com/olga.kurtmallaeva)

She has learned from her own experience that emotional well-being is very important in difficult moments.

"The guys (fellow prisoners who were exchanged earlier - ed.) told me that after he called me, he came into the cell, rolled up the mattress, packed his things, and said: "That's it, I'm going home, I can't take it anymore. I'm going to my girl". He was very determined," she says.

All the letters she sends to her husband do not reach him. So he does not know about her health or where she is.

"His friend returned from captivity and said: "He does not know whether you have left the occupation or not. He said that she probably did not leave. Because if she had, she would have gotten me out of here by now." God, I work on it every day, but it's not as easy as it seems!" says Olha.

Why it is difficult to conduct exchanges

According to Olha, there is now a well-established route for people to go to if they have missing persons or prisoners. However, at the beginning of the full-scale war, relatives did not understand anything.

In addition, another difficulty with exchanges is the number of prisoners of war. The fact is that Ukraine says from various sources that there are between 3,500 and 5,000 of our military in Russian captivity.

This is not true, says Olha. The problem is that not all prisoners are confirmed as prisoners of war by the Russian side. That is, these people remain missing.

"I think you've seen that in the exchanges it is often written "returned those who were considered dead", 'returned missing'. This is the case because of a large number of prisoners of war, many civilian prisoners. They also deal with deported children, so it's a lot of work," explains Olha.

How not to give up

Nowadays, she communicates with many people with cancer. They ask her where to get the strength to fight the disease. But Olha can't answer them.

"I feel bad that I can't tell them anything. Because for them, the primary problem is their disease. And for me, the biggest problem is that my husband is in captivity. My illness is not the problem. It's what prevents me from getting him out of captivity," she says.

There are family photos on the nightstand in Olha's room. She says it is these memories that help her continue her struggle.

"I have no right not to find strength in myself. Who will pull him out of that captivity? When I was sick, he did everything he could to keep me from having a tear in my eye. The doctors tell me that if my husband had been there, the treatment would have been much easier. All these emotional explosions have a great impact on me," says Olha.

'I have stage 4 cancer, my husband has been in captivity for 2 years': How Ukrainian woman fights for her beloved Wedding photos of Olha and Ruslan (photo: instagram.com/olga.kurtmallaeva)