What prevents building lasting and strong relationships
What reasons might prevent a woman from building a relationship at 40 (Illustrative photo: Getty Images)
Forty is a wonderful age for a woman - a time when you truly know yourself, have gained life experience, and value your time. However, if stable relationships have not yet been established, there may be certain internal or external barriers at play.
Ukrainian life coach and sexologist Vitalii Kursyk shares insights on what might prevent a woman at 40 from building lasting and strong relationships.
1. Unresolved emotional wounds
Previous relationships may have left a mark - disappointment, pain, or fear of trusting again. If these feelings remain unprocessed, they can become an invisible barrier between you and potential partners.
"On one hand, you want to feel warmth, but on the other, as soon as a relationship starts developing into something serious, you begin to distance yourself from your partner," explains the coach.
2. The habit of being independent
Many women, while building their careers and lives without a partner, become so accustomed to independence that it later becomes difficult to make room for someone else in their world.
3. High standards
With age, women often have a clearer understanding of what they want, which is a good thing. However, if the list of requirements for a partner resembles an astronaut's manual, it can complicate the search for a match.
4. Age-related stereotypes
Society sometimes imposes pressure, suggesting that after 40, the partner market is limited, and there are few available men. These beliefs can create unnecessary anxiety and discouragement.
5. Lack of initiative
Expecting the perfect man to find you might work in your younger years. However, as time goes on, it becomes important to take the initiative yourself.
"If your day is limited to the office, the gym, and the supermarket, and on weekends you clean and binge-watch series, the chances of meeting anyone are very slim. Of course, people do sometimes meet even in a supermarket, but that's more the exception than the rule. Try spending time in places where you can meet new people," advises the expert.
6. Fear of vulnerability
Opening up to someone, and showing your weaknesses or fears, becomes harder with age. However, this vulnerability is what builds trust and emotional closeness.
7. Shift in priorities
At some point, you may have prioritized your career, children, or other goals, and that’s perfectly fine. But now it’s time to recognize that you’re ready to shift your focus to your personal life.
How to change this?
- Address the past. Accept your failures as experience, not as a verdict.
- If necessary, seek help from a therapist.
- Be open to new possibilities.
- Perhaps your ideal partner is nothing like your perception of them. Give different people a chance.
- Take the first step. Don’t be afraid to show initiative - meet new people, go on dates, and try new ways of connecting.
- Develop communication skills. The ability to listen, express your desires, and accept another person is key to a harmonious relationship.
- Reevaluate your expectations. Look for someone who makes you feel comfortable and engaged, not an ideal.
- Work on your self-esteem. You deserve love regardless of your age, status, or other factors.
"Being single at 40 is not a problem; it's just a new chapter of your life. And it’s up to you to decide what will be written on the next page," says Vitalii Kursyk.
