Psychologist explains why people betray each other

Why people betray each other in relationships

"Let's distinguish between reasons and excuses. Usually, an excuse can be anything – oversalted soup, a wrong smile, gaining extra pounds, not showing enough passion in intimate relationships, and so on. Sometimes these excuses are more significant, sometimes they are so trivial that even listening to them is funny," says Serhiy.

According to the psychologist, of course, an excuse is an excuse, and it is, so to speak, already a trigger.

Why people betray each other (photo: Freepik)

"When couples come in who want to understand the reasons for betrayal, we ask what the trigger was, and there are things that catch your attention," says the psychologist.

"For example, if a wife, due to recently giving birth, had a difficult period, health problems, for example, after surgery – that's one story. But if she just kept her husband at a distance without any specific reasons, and said something like: 'You won't buy me a fur coat – you'll sleep on the couch,' then obviously she is an accomplice because she behaved unwisely and incorrectly," explains Serhiy.

But, as the specialist says, even in such cases – this does not remove the blame from the man, this in no way justifies his step to go and find another woman.

"This is a trigger. And the reason is always the man's decision. If he had said, 'No, anyway, even if you push me away, even if you don't want to sleep with me, and I am only responsible for myself, I will not succumb to my selfish desires to go and satisfy them on the side.' 'I will be clean before God because I promised not only to be with you in joy and sorrow,'" the psychologist recounts.

It turns out that all responsibility for betrayal lies with ourselves, not with the reasons or triggers. It is important only to make a decision – to betray or to save the relationship.

Earlier, we talked about why women should not be afraid to lose a man.