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How to resist messaging your ex: Secrets of iron self-control

How to resist messaging your ex: Secrets of iron self-control How to refrain from messaging your ex (Illustrative photo: freepik.com)

The new year has arrived, you've already had a generous portion of salads and champagne, but something still feels missing? And suddenly, you want to write to your ex? Stop! Take a deep breath, exhale, and try to ride out this urge by reading our advice. Maybe it will save your pride and nerves.

The desire to write to your ex is like the desire to eat a fifth slice of pizza: you’re not hungry anymore, and you don’t need it, but some part of you insists. Instead of giving in to this impulse, try following the tips below.

1. Remind yourself why it’s a bad idea

Think about why you broke up. If your mind is fondly recalling romantic walks, there’s also that memory of his forgotten dishes in the sink or that same argument about "I forgot to text."

2. Distract yourself

Start washing all those clothes from last year that have been lying in a pile. Or better yet, hit the gym. Do lunges, planks, and the desire to text will vanish along with the last bit of energy.

3. Delete his number (or at least change the contact name)

"Sweetheart" becomes "Do not text, even if you really want to." It’s like a personal stop signal for your fingers.

4. Write to your friend instead

That’s what friends all over the world are for - to help you in moments like this. Write to her everything you want to say to your ex, but be ready for a reply like calm down and don’t ruin your life.

5. Write down your thoughts

Not in a chat, but in a notebook. Write a letter, pour out all your emotions, but don’t send it. It’s therapy, and the bonus - no consequences.

6. Remind yourself that you’re a queen.

And queens don’t text first. Ever.

Interesting facts

  • Studies show that only 15% of people regret not getting back with their exes. The other 85% are glad they resisted the temptation.
  • Psychologists recommend a 30-day no-contact period after a breakup - it's the best way to start fresh.
  • A minute of physical activity can reduce emotional impulses by up to 70%.

The sources used in writing the article include: psychologytoday, huffpost, wellandgood.