How to avoid raising 'mama's boy': 10 tips for mothers
How not to raise a mama's boy from a son (photo: freepik.com)
Every mother worries about how to raise her son to be a real man, not a "mama's boy." Some believe more firmness and strictness are necessary, while others think a child should grow up surrounded by a mother's love. However, different factors are actually more important.
Ukrainian psychologist, psychotherapist, and sexologist Natalia Harina shared insights on how to properly raise a son with RBC-Ukraine (project Styler).
10 important tips for mothers
If you notice that your son frequently seeks help from you, even for minor things, adjust your parenting approach to raise an independent and confident man.
Teach independence from an early age
Encourage him to clean up toys, do crafts, and tidy up. Teach him to tie shoelaces and button shirts. Children at 5 years old already have the fine motor skills needed for these tasks.
Support initiative
Allow your son to help you and praise any attempts he makes.
Don't solve all problems for your child
Instead of rushing to school to punish bullies, guide your son on how to handle conflicts with peers independently.
Develop responsibility
Assign him regular duties that he performs independently, such as taking out the trash, cleaning shoes, or walking the dog.
Set rules and boundaries
Discipline gently but firmly — maintain a routine, limit screen time, and be an example of such behavior yourself.
Involve him in decision-making
Consult with your son on family and household matters — how to spend weekends, which furniture to choose, what to cook.
Lead by example
Empty lectures do not work on children; they go in one ear and out the other no matter how many times you repeat them. Be a model of independence and confidence yourself; it's the best lesson.
Develop communication skills
Play communication games and encourage him to think and express himself.
Avoid overprotectiveness
Allow your child to make mistakes and learn from them.
Support independence
Let your son decide which activities to join, who to befriend, and how to manage his allowance.
An independent and confident son is the best gift for parents and his future family.
Don't be afraid to loosen control; trust your child, and you will be not only great parents but also true friends.
"Once, my 12-year-old son invited a classmate over. I set the table and invited the children to lunch. But the boy hesitated and said, 'I don’t know, I need to ask my mom.' The boy often visited us, and I asked if he liked fishing and if he would like to join us. He always replied, 'I don’t know, I need to ask my mom,'" Natalia Harina said.
She noted that from the outside, it may seem like a well-behaved and polite child, and that the mother is doing everything right by controlling her child.
"But no. A child should know what they like and want without asking adults, and think and decide for themselves. Of course, this doesn’t mean they can do anything, but the child should feel their own autonomy—what to wear, how to spend time, whether to share toys, and which clubs to attend. To raise a son who is independent and strong, do not raise a mama's boy," emphasizes the psychotherapist.
Earlier, we reported on how scientists answered the question of whom a child inherits intelligence from.
